UKSC Lyrics Only Winner 2015

Best Actor by Debra Gussin

My show begins at nine.    
It’s another bitter night.                   
The shades are drawn,                
the table’s set,                   
I’m pacing and uptight.

I paint the mask I wear for him  
precisely on my face.  
But no one knows the pain inside, 
that nothing can erase.

Best actor goes to me.
In silence I accept,       
for all the times I forced a smile, 
to hide the tears I’ve wept.          

If you could only see         
behind my hollow grin,  
you’d find the fairytale’s a myth.     
My will is wearing thin.

Act Two begins at dawn,    
over coffee and a bite.  
The eggs are cold,                       
he glares at me,      
I’m bracing for a fight.        

He burns the scar I wear today 
precisely on my soul.   
But on the stage, beneath the lights,    
you’d swear that I was whole.   

Best actor goes to me. 
I kiss his lips goodbye.     
He takes his lunch and grabs a coat,
but never sees me cry.

And you would never know
how deep the blows have been, 
or how I yearn to take my turn   
at battles I can win. 

I’m cast in a recurring role,
my scenes are all the same.  
First the footsteps, then the door,
an angry slam, and then the blame.

Tonight the show goes dark.   
And when the time is right, 
I’ll break the mask,
and take no more!
I’ll vanish out of sight.

I won’t look back, I will be strong,           
I have to cut the strings.
My only hope for happiness
is waiting in the wings.

Best Actor left the stage,     
stormed out the exit door.      
Can’t live with all the burning rage,
won’t fake it anymore.

My life belongs to me, 
I’m not somebody’s toy.   
Starting now, the part I play 
will bring me tears of joy.
 
And soon there’ll be          
a new marquee
for all the world to see...

Best Actor goes…
Best Actor WENT…to me.